I have a question…Why is enjoying being alone such taboo?
I have been condemned for this on many occasions with questions and statements being thrown at me like ‘why do you want to be alone, don’t you have any friends?’ Or ‘you’ll never meet a husband if you carry on like this’. I recognize the fact that, in general, the people that ask me these things are stupid. That said, I would like to confirm that yes I do have friends which I enjoy spending time with but no I don’t feel the need to have people around me all the time. I am also not interested in finding a husband but thank you for your concern.
I suppose it comes down to the crazies we see in the news or the psychopaths in movies, someone always says ‘he/she was always such a nice quiet guy/girl who kept themselves to themselves’. People then believe if you are often alone you must be a serial killer, a nerdy 40 year old virgin in the making or just batshit crazy. For the record I believe most serial killers tend to be pretty sociable, charming even. It’s how they entice their victims in the first place. Neither of these qualities can I be accused of. Plus I really don’t like blood. I do however like comics and sci fi….
“Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god.” – Aristotle
The most recent question I had to deal with at work was ‘aren’t you afraid you’ll die alone at home and your dog will start eating you?’ Really? That’s what you’re asking me on this lovely sunny morning? Oh how I enjoy being around such forward thinking people such as yourselves.
I guess the two main reasons I enjoy my own company so much now are because I see people all day long and because for the first time in my life I have my own place! I love coming home to my little bungalow knowing how hard I worked to get it and I enjoy just being at ‘home’.
The other obvious factor is that Archie is at home who I love to death and enjoy the company of more than that of most people! The quote ‘The more people I meet the more I love my dog’ comes to mind.
I am sure my fellow geeks out there understand the loner concept, after all even Superman has his Fortress of Solitude!
I guess it is also important to clarify the difference between enjoying alone time and not wanting to be around people at all. As mentioned earlier, I am around people all day long so I definitely don’t lack social contact. Mostly I am just limited on the quality of that said contact.
A prime example of the poor quality contact I am referring to happened just this morning; someone came into my office and lectured me on my decision to keep a horse that is retired. I did not bring this subject up nor did I want his opinion yet I had to endure a verbal attack of pure ignorance from someone whose opinion I couldn’t care less about. I do not understand what aura I give out that encourages these imbeciles to speak to me let alone give me their opinions.
Unfortunately dealing with people like that on a regular basis just makes getting home to my ‘Fortress of Solitude’ even more enjoyable!
Reading a forum recently I noticed a very interesting post which I have copied below:
‘…one of the first questions we tend to be asked when playing catch-up is if we’re seeing anyone, like it’s a measurement of our success in life. Sure, it’s just small talk but there’s always this comparison being done. The single 30 year old can be perceived as being less successful than the one who is married with kids.’
This is a very interesting statement and a subject I come across regularly. I am among what I would guess to be a very small percentage of people that really couldn’t care less about marriage and kids. If it happens it happens but I do not feel like I have any piece of me missing because I am not there yet.
I think the most important thing to get out of all of this is that if you’re happy who cares what anyone else thinks. As long as you’re not hurting anyone and can be proud of your actions I think in the end that is all that matters.
Having said all that the only real problem of living this way is that people quite often begin to take it personally. So to all my patient loving friends out there – it’s not you, it’s most definitely me!